Being called a Dominant is a gift your submissive or submissives give you based on the care, protection, guidance, and love you show for them. Just because you call yourself a Dom does not in fact make you one. It is not an excuse to tie someone up, spank them, degrade them, or use them however you please. A Dominant, or a Dom (male) / Domme (female), is not a self-annointed title we bestow upon ourselves. Perhaps it’s easier to say what a Dominant is NOT. Both the Dominant and the submissive in the relationship are, in fact, equals. There is no leader without someone to guide. There is no power without someone to submit. Pretty straightforward, but what’s important to recognize is that you cannot have one without the other. On the one hand we have power and influence, on the other we have obedience and passivity (you brats just hold your tongue for a little while). and here, my fellow kinksters, we find our first measure of duality. Submissive, conversely, is defined as ready to conform to authority or will of others meekly obedient or passive. And I will never let it go.) tells us that Dominant by definition means: most important, powerful, or influential. Oxford English Dictionary (yes, I still own the two volume Shorter O.E.D. But first, we must start somewhere with some broad passes of the brush to start roughing out our foundation. There are varying degrees of all of this, from the Master/slave dynamics to inferiority to fetishes–more than we could possibly cover in one post. Let’s also say this: This is not a tiny world, and there is no black and white. All we can do is share our own story and what we have learned - our own truth. These professionals exist, and they’re amazing, so if you’re at all curious and want the polished advice of a pro, go do it. I, and we, am not an educator, a kink professional, a doctor, a sex therapist, or any other kind of counselor. So, class, let the lessons begin.īefore I do begin, let’s get one thing clear. That’s one of the reasons we started this business in the first place. It quickly became clear to us that the world of kink is largely unknown and misunderstood, even to those of us who are keenly interested. These sweet little lambs, or sprouting Doms, were desperate for someone to talk to and share their story. We also had brave souls come up to us and ask us for advice. We got quite a few side glances checking out the logo, some smirks, some red faces, some comments about 50 Shades of Grey, remarks about pain and spanking, ropes, etc. We were set up with our booth at the Philly tattoo convention not too long ago and a surprising number of people came up to us not only to check out the brand, but to ask us advice and share their own personal stories. Something interesting and at the same time surprising happened to us recently.
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